Where, along the way, did I become a doormat for my son? I know he's 14 and has to assert his independence, but really???? Now I am a single mother, I have to work for us to eat and have a roof over our heads. But now my son thinks he needs to arrange my work schedule around his social activities. I can't work Thursdays because his girlfriend has volleyball games then and we HAVE to go. The weekends are out because you never know what will happen at any given moment. Oh, and why can't she come over when the guys come over? She's just a friend like them. I almost fell for this argument but then I realized, I can leave the house for a while when" just the guys are over". No work on Wednesdays or Fridays because of football games at school. I guess that leaves Monday and Tuesdays. "By the way, don't work on November 20th, I have plans" he tells me as he's going to bed last night.
I think I am going to go to the crazy farm today. I have traveled down that toad many times. I know my kids think I live there 24/7, and there's a possibility they might be right. Maybe I do have insane expectations. Like, you're not allowed to listen to Eminem, especially not the explicit versions. He doesn't talk like that in front of his own kids but I should let him talk like that to you?
Last night, laying in bed all I could was talk to Jesus and tell him exactly what was going on. See I must be crazy because He knows already. But I think it was my way of holding on to His hand even tighter and letting Him know, that I know I can't do this without Him.
